chez gavin

From Dionysius the Areopagite

2011-05-10T13:39:00.000-06:00

Lead us up beyond unknowing and light,
up to the farthest, highest peak
of mystic scripture,
where the mysteries of God's Word
lie simple, absolute and unchangeable
in the brilliant darkness of a hidden silence.
Amid the deepest shadow
they pour overwhelming light
on what is most manifest.
Amid the wholly unsensed and unseen
they completely fill our sightless minds
with treasures beyond all beauty.

Every Grain of Sand

2011-04-15T13:09:00.001-06:00

Family Reunion

2011-04-12T11:22:00.007-06:00

I love my faith tribe (the Evangelical Covenant Church of Canada) and I love the little family from within that tribe to which I belong (Faith Covenant Church). This community of people has been and continues to be formative to my perception of God, self, the Gospel, and the nature and breadth of the Christian calling.

As friends gathered from across Canada this past weekend in Sarnia, ON for the ECCC's 107th annual meeting, I was reminded of the beautiful diversity and unity in this clan. I was thankful for reminders of how we are better together, and inspired by looking at the ongoing work of Christ in local churches that comes to expression in unique and creative ways. This is a blessed family....

I look forward to another year of life together and anticipate that at next year's family gathering we will have stories of grace to share.

The Lenten Practice of Struggling Like a Dwarf

2011-03-24T08:38:00.007-06:00

One of the Desert Fathers of Egypt, St. John the Dwarf (or Little Person, if you prefer, though it hardly sounds as catchy and saintly), is said to have prayed to God to take his passions away from him so that he might be free of care. And, so the story goes, God answered that prayer. The little saint became impassible - free from worry, temptation, care, and struggle.

One day, John recounted this happening to an old man saying, "I find myself in peace; without an enemy."

The old man responded by telling him to return to God in prayer. "Go and beg God to stir up some warfare within you so that you might regain the affliction and humility that you used to have, for it is by warfare that the soul makes progress."

And so he did. And when warfare came he no longer prayed that it would be taken away, but that the Lord would give him strength for the fight.

I would most often prefer to not battle through the struggles of temptation, unbelief, and the "warfare" of life. Dole out some of that peace, God. Make ME immovable.... But I recognize the deep truth in John's story - that through warfare and struggle, we grow and our souls "make progress." I suppose that's some of what James' epistle is pointing at when it says:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4 TNIV)

And later:

Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12 TNIV)

This Lenten season has held some of that for me.... I suppose life always does. But this is a time particularly committed to the struggle of self-denial, to doing the work of preparation through prayer and fasting so that my heart and life might be ready to meet Jesus Christ in the events of Holy Week - the upper room, the garden, the cross, and the empty tomb.

And I'm ever increasingly aware of my need for God's help in order to persevere. He is strength for the fight....

Collect for the First Sunday of Lent (BoCP 1979)

2011-03-13T15:20:00.003-06:00

Almighty God,

whose blessed Son was led by the Spirit

to be tempted by Satan;

come quickly to help us who are assaulted by many temptations;

and, as you know the weaknesses of each of us,

let each one find You mighty to save;

through Jesus Christ Your Son, our Lord,

who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit,

one God, now and forever.

Amen.

Ashing

2011-03-11T22:48:00.007-06:00

I'm still dwelling on the bizarre and strangely encouraging ritual of Ash Wednesday that marked the beginning of the Lenten season for me, my family, and my community. For the last three years our little church community has held a simple service of prayer, reflection, and ashing, just like loads of other Christian churches did on the same day.

I never grew up with that tradition, at least, not that I remember.... I don't know why. Well, maybe I do.... It's bizarre.

It's quite an unsettling thing to stare your friends in the eyes, after a quiet evening together of praying, singing, and listening, and to say, "Remember that you're dust - repent and believe the Gospel." And then, to smear dirt on their face in the shape of a cross...? Unsettling. Weird.

Some of these friends I know well - very well. Others... I didn't even know their names. But all the same, as the pastor on duty for ashing, I went eyeball to eyeball with these good folks and told them they'd be dying sometime in the not too distant future so drawing near to Christ in repentance would be the best next step.

Bizarre.

But astoundingly encouraging. It's actually been one of the pastoral moments that I've most valued in the last few years of ministry life. There is something about that moment where the community is, together, welcoming of a reminder of mortality and the need for grace that rouses my faith.... That's a work of God's Spirit.

And seeing a community of people who want to draw near to God - the source of life and hope - is encouraging and calls me forward in faith.

Lent

2011-03-10T16:46:00.003-06:00

The season of Lent has begun again. I anticipate that this will be another important season for my own growth in faith, as has been the case for the past few seasons.

"Lent is not something individualistic."

Those are the words of a friend of mine who lives by the Benedictine Rule. And I agree with him. While fasting and prayer are often done "in the closet," there remains incredible opportunity for growth and fruitfulness in taking up those things in the community. The faith family of FCC provides a context for this - Sunday mornings, my small home group, in conversation with brothers and sisters. So does my household. And so does this blog space.

Amongst some other Lenten practices of prayer and fasting, I've decided to give time in the next weeks to reflecting, writing, and praying here. I suppose it gives me some sense of accountability. And it provides an easy forum to have people help me along and sharpen my thoughts. So that's what I'll do....

And here I go....

Obligatory Post About How Long It Has Been Since I've Last Blogged

2011-03-10T15:56:00.002-06:00

Yadda, yadda, yadda....

Moving on.

Go Leafs, GO!

2010-10-14T17:57:00.003-06:00

I'm proud to say it. I've always been a Leafs fan - and I always will be.

And, yes, I am excited about starting the season 3-0. And, yes, I am optimistic about Clark MacArthur having a relatively big year (maybe 20 goals...?). And, YES, I AM even entertaining the idea that the Leafs could squeak into a playoff spot....

It's going to taste so sweet when, one day, my beloved blue and white are making a run towards the cup and the Leaf-hating know-nothing-know-it-alls of hockey dumb have to choke on it.

YYC

2010-10-07T20:16:00.002-06:00

After a couple fantastic days in Banff my darling wife and I (avec bébé) were excited to get back to our little home and see the daughter. Unfortunately the journey back was not totally smooth....

After spending 6 hours in the YYC airport (one of those "it was the only time we could catch a ride there" things), we eagerly boarded our plane. Passengers travelling with small children get to board first - sweet. After an easy takeoff, Reuben drifted off to sleep, I settled in to "The A-Team" on the inflight movies, and we headed home. Half way through the trip we were notified that there was an issue with one of the plane's doors - there was something wrong with a seel - and that cabin pressure was going to have to be adjusted... and that we would have to head all the way back to Calgary to have it fixed.

So that's what we did. After a long wait on the tarmac they decided it would be best to deplane us, and have us wait the hour and a half until another plane was able to take us back to Winnipeg.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.... We got home at 3am.

I was tired, sure, but I'm not trying to complain too much.... Reuben held his own over the long night. I was glad to eventually get home safely, and not be sucked out the gaping door of a mile-high airplane. I suppose, all of this was to say that Calgary sucks so much that it caused a cabin pressure issue.

Beatitude

2010-09-29T23:27:00.004-06:00

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

I am deeply aware that I need Christ Jesus to teach me how to be this person - the person who is humble and happy because of the God-given blessings inheirently in that way of being.

Poor in spirit? Meek? Peacemaker? Is that me...? Geez.... I don't know. Probably not. Provisionally, sure, maybe every once in while. But those words probably aren't the first words that I would use to describe myself in the last while. And they probably aren't the words some of those who live life near to me would use to describe me either....

I don't think that I have enough gas in the tank to be able to commit to anger, resentment, self-pity, and/or antagonism and still be able to live out the commandment to love God with all I have and my neighbours (not to mention my enemies...) as myself. No way.

Christ, help me.

Rut

2010-08-19T12:58:00.003-06:00

This place as been relatively unused in the past several weeks. In part, that's due to the fact that I've had quite a busy summer - a couple weeks at camp, a lot of fall preparations, enjoying the sunshine out of doors with the kids and wife....

Honestly though, it's probably due just as much to a stunted desire to nurture my interior life. For whatever reason I've had much less drive to read, or write, to meditate and pray, or to find creative ways of giving expression to and exploring more of what I'm thinking and feeling. That's an odd thing for me. That way of doing life usually comes quite naturally. But in past weeks I've been noticing a significant infrequency to those routines which tend to be so life-giving to me.

Don't worry, mom. I'm not depressed, going off the deep end, etc.

Maybe it's just one of those "seasons." Not really sure....

I'll be on vacation for a couple weeks as of Sunday afternoon. That time should provide lots of space to read, think, pray, write, etc. I'll set some goals for myself and try and gently force some of those rythmes back into my life-beat.

Sick and Tired

2010-07-31T23:25:00.004-06:00

I'm pretty tired of living in a world that is wounded by sin-sickness and its effects. And I'm tired of hearing about the latest b.s. renditions of "spirituality" that have almost nothing to say about the wrongs in the world being put to right.

Our Father in Heaven,
may Your name be kept holy.
May Your Kingdom come soon.
May Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

"What Does It Mean!?"

2010-07-06T23:33:00.002-06:00

Amidst some Youtube trawlling I came across this video - an absolute gem, in my opinion. I couldn't get enough of it....

Praise God

2010-06-29T22:06:00.001-06:00

...from Whom all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above ye heavenly host.
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Pastor's Haiku

2010-06-25T17:05:00.003-06:00

Friday comes weekly

But it matters not to me

I work on weekends

The Other Gavin

2010-06-17T21:46:00.004-06:00

I needed this today. I always loved this character from Kids in the Hall - and, yes, his name is Gavin.

Sometimes Spitballs Feel Like Spears

2010-06-14T18:02:00.002-06:00

Maybe it's a character flaw, or maybe it's just something in how I'm wired. Or maybe it's some deep-seeded psychological daddy issue.... Whatever the case, I don't think I could totally express how deeply criticism cuts me.

Honestly, I have such a shakey/low opinion of myself that criticism, even on small things and with good intentions, can cause me to immediately go into hyper-self-deprecation mode. "I knew it - I knew I was a total screw up."

Whoa.... This is probably way too honest already.

But it's true. Sometimes a little spitball fired my way seems more like a gnarled spearhead heaved through my guts.

I'm not totally sure how to deal with that. I am sure that the answer has something to do with prayer, and growing in becoming a person who extends mercy and forgiveness to the other thus allowing me to understand that mercy and forgiveneness are also extended to me.... But just because I can figure that out doesn't mean I have been able walk it out.

I was told once I needed to learn to practice self-forgiveness, which, at the time, I thought was a supremely ridiculous thing to say. I still kind of think that. But I do recognize that there is some truth in it. This isn't the way to live, that's for sure....

You Don't Really Like Soccer....

2010-06-13T20:02:00.004-06:00

It's the World Cup.

It isn't really a big deal to you, but you sure love to pretend that it is. You couldn't name more than one player on any single team. You don't really know much about the game other than Brazil is generally pretty good (something about a fellow named Pele...). Two months from now you'll have nothing to say about the tournament, nor about the year round schedule of the various competitive soccer leagues around the world. But for now you sure love to talk about it and pretend to be enthralled by the drama that only a 1-0 blowout can produce....

Get serious.

Christian Lander nails it again: "The World Cup"

See also: "The Idea of Soccer"

Ronald McDonald Made Me Miss the Stanley Cup Winning Goal

2010-06-10T10:40:00.004-06:00

For the first time in my memory I did not watch the cup winning goal. I caught a few minutes of the game in the first period. I saw the game tieing goal by Hartnell that set the Hawks back on their heals. But I missed the OT winner....

I knew I'd miss some of the game - we had a church council meeting that night (bad timing, but I love this community and sacrifices have to be made). However, I was delighted when we wrapped up the meeting with about 10 minutes of the 3rd period to go. After staying put in the living room of our hosting council member to watch the excitement that sent the game into an extra frame, I bolted for my car, turned the radio to 87.7 (CBC television's audio feed), and headed homeward, hoping I'd get back in time to see the puck drop for OT.

Then...

*GURGLE*

I was struck with the sudden need to find a bathroom. Quickly.

You see, earlier that day I helped an old pal out by driving him south to Morden, MB so that he could buy himself a lovely Toyota Corolla he had found on Kijiji for a budget price. From there, in my rush to get back to work and scratch some things off my to-do list for that day, I was starting to feel a little light-headed due to the fact that I hadn't eaten anything since the previous day.... So, I did what many hurried North Americans do when they need to grab a quick bite before getting back to work - I stopped at McDonald's.

Don't judge me. You've done it too.

The golden arches gave promise of a meal inexpensive in cash and time. I ate my greasy treats and went on with my rather busy day.

I tried to ignore the case of "McDonald's Belly" I felt developing.

It wasn't until after our council meeting that evening that the gurgles and pains became something of significance, and as I raced homeward hoping to watch one more period of playoff hockey this year, I knew I was going to need to stop. I tore into our church parking lot - thankfully it was on my way - and ran inside the building, down the stairs, rolly polly, pell mell, and into the (newly renovated) men's washroom.

I'll press fast forward here.... Suffice it to say, it took some time, and the details aren't pretty.

On the last leg of my journey home, about a kilometer from my front door, I heard Jim Hughson give the somewhat flummoxed call that the game winner had been scored. Sigh.... Upon arriving home and turning on the TV, I saw the cup pass hands from Gary Bettman (*ptooey*) to Jonathon Toews.

And that's how Ronald McDonald made me miss the Stanley Cup Winning Goal with his delicious and poisonous double-cheeseburgers.

Chump

2010-05-24T16:44:00.005-06:00

Spending the better part of a day cleaning up the mess left behind from a theft/vandalism at the church building was pretty much towards the bottom of my list of "Things I'd Like to Do This Victoria Day." But I did it anyway....

Stolen keys, communion juice sprayed all over the kitchen, gang tags on our big rustic cross....

Seriously, anonymous vandal. Senseless. Just senseless.

Integrity

2010-05-13T18:55:00.008-06:00

I've been thinking a lot about integrity in the last while....

Do I live with integrity? Do I live with enough integrity? Does what I believe right living to be line up with what Christ calls humanity to in abundant life? Do my words match my deeds? Am I consistent and faithful, or am I like a shifting shadow?

I suppose I'm a fairly young man, though I tend to feel I'm already on the downhill slide. I mean, seriously.... Have you seen how much gray hair and joint pain I'm living with? I'm one ache away from predicting barometric pressure changes. But I am a young man - not even thirty years old yet. Yet I often find myself thinking about what people will have to say about me when I'm in the dirt. Is that morbid? I don't think so....

Of course, integrity isn't just measured by what people say when you're gone. What people say and think right now also is indicative of the kind of person one is - whether they are perceived as one who is deserving of that sought after descriptive characteristic: integrity.

And, whether you think it right or not, I feel the weight of the apparent reality that leaders are held to a higher standard in all this. People that open their mouth to teach and challenge others to live well and with faithfulness damn well better do it themselves. Of course, no one is perfect but, I think, there is a greater level of responsibility to be a person of integrity in roles like pastor or dad.

The truth is that it is in some of those leader roles (particularly pastor and papa) that I am most confronted with my lapses in integrity. It's in honest and frank conversations with friends, congregants, and my kids that I recognize that their struggles to live faithfully and with integrity are mine as well. The people around me, then, function like mirrors, and I have more "mirrors" to look into than I am comfortable with. Really, who likes to recognize their own faults?

I ask myself, "do I have enough integrity, and particularly to live out these leadership roles?" Maybe. I mean, it's a hard thing to quantify "enough" of. I suppose integrity looks backward over history. If there is growth today from what/where/who I was the day before that shows integrity. "Enough" integrity is a continual "more than before." Does that make sense? I think so....

So maybe integrity is not so much my concern as growth. Maybe that is a more down to earth idea - something I can get a grasp on.... Now to just carry on in doing that for the rest of my life.

Lord Jesus, have mercy on me and teach me to be faithful.

7 Yrs. and 12 Oz.

2010-05-05T15:41:00.004-06:00

I am absolutely wiped out. It was one of those weeks.... It is one of those weeks....

But on the bright side, Liz and I have been married for 7 whole years as of a couple days ago, and there are no signs of calling it quits yet. I love that old girl a pile. We have plenty to celebrate in our life together.

So that's what we did.

And, I ask you, what better way is there to celebrate life together than with steak and wine?* The food was incredible and the company was too.

*If you're ever looking for a damn fine steak, let me suggest Hermanos - a South American steakhouse and wine bar in Winnipeg's exchange district. No word of a lie, the Baby Cabrera may well be the finest piece of meat I have ever sunk my teeth into.

Joy

2010-04-25T20:48:00.004-06:00

Today was a full, full day.

We shared in a celebration at our little church - it was a big day as we dedicated the newly renovated basement space following the morning worship. There was a delectable soup lunch -there was a serious variety of soups - that followed. I made a tasty sweet potato and ginger soup with my own two little hands and brought it along to share.

The afternoon had Shay and I head out of town to the Providence College campus to watch my little brother, Mark, graduate from college. He's an exceptionally bright young fella. He's worked hard to get through this stage of his academic career and has had lots of success (except maybe in Greek). Props to you, Mark-E-Mark.

But, the highlight of the day - the moment of greatest joy - was in witnessing both Shay and Reuben bei baptized. Shayan was incredibly excited (hopping around, even, after weeks of "practicing getting baptized"). Reuben seemed indifferent (but I know that's just his stoic, wise-beyond-his-years way). I was a teary mess, but a joyful one. It was a blessing to share in that landmark moment in their journeys. It was a blessing that family and friends were their to witness and make promises to encourage them in their journeys. And it will be a blessing to see them, day by day, live out the faith of their baptisms as they follow Jesus.

I'm grateful. I'm joyful. I'm tired.

Outta Town

2010-04-10T20:47:00.003-06:00

It's been a long, long while since I've hit the open road with the family in tow. Reuben has yet to leave the city limits of Winnipeg.

Well, tomorrow that will change. I'm taking a week off of work, pulling Shayan out of school for a few days, and heading with the Jensen clan to my homeland. After meeting tomorrow morning with our brilliant little faith community, we shall drive....

I'm planning to have time with family whom I see far too seldomly, to visit the rolling hills east of Prince Albert and camp for an evening, to read through "Three Cups of Tea," and to get my mind off of many of the things that have been weighing on it in the past months. I'm also hoping that Reuben travels well.... The idea of a 10 hour trip (each way) with a screaming baby is not so appealing.... It won't be so bad - we've got a hotel booked for tomorrow night at somewhere around the mid-point of the journey to break up the long drive. Shayan is supremely excited about the corkscrew-shaped waterslide at said hotel.

Here I come, Saskatchewan. But I'm bringing beer far superior to your Pilsner. Hope that's not rude or anything....

Easter Feasting

2010-04-05T11:27:00.006-06:00

The long season of Lent is over. Christ has made the faithfulness, grace, and love of God known throughout the Holy Week. His "triumphal" entrance into Jerusalem, the shared meal in the upper room on the night he was betrayed, His agony in prayer in the Garden, His trial, crucifixion, and death.... For us and for our salvation....

And now, his victory. Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!

"Do not be afraid. I am the first and the last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the key of death and Hades." (Revelation 1:17-18)

We celebrated yesterday with a sunrise worship service of prayer, song, and Scripture reading. Fireside cinnamon buns and hot coffee followed. Our regular Sunday morning time of worship and celebration was capped off on the most joyous of days in the church calendar with balloons - lots of balloons, being batted about all over the church sanctuary as the final song was being sung (and I couldn't tell you how great Shayan thought that was...).

And then we feasted. I roasted a duck (which I had to get up 3 hours prior to the sunrise service to do...), cooked up a lamb shank laden with garlic and rosemary, grilled two different varieties of pork skewer (one with apple and rosemary, the other with sundried tomato), made fresh and creamy potato salad, and whipped up a delicious butternut squash mash with lots of fresh dill. Of course, feasts aren't complete without the company of friends; we were glad to have Liz's sister, my brother, and five fine friends from our church to join us. It was a celebration. It was fitting.

Christ is Risen: the world below lies desolate

Christ is Risen: the spirits of evil are fallen

Christ is Risen: the angels of God are rejoicing

Christ is Risen: the tombs of the dead are empty

Christ is Risen indeed from the dead, the first of the sleepers

Glory and power are His forever and ever

Amen

(Prayer of St. Hippolytus of Rome)

The Collect for Ash Wednesday

2010-02-18T00:24:00.003-06:00

Almighty and everlasting God, You hate nothing You have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent. Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of You, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

Cecil Ferry Road

2010-02-16T21:25:00.013-06:00

I spent some time this evening travelling via Google Street View. Nowhere exotic; just to places that have been important to me....

Much to my excitement, the Cecil Ferry Road east of Prince Albert has been covered by Google's cameras. The farm home where I spent the bulk of my childhood is viewable online.... And while that is exceedingly strange to me - almost unsettling - I was sucked into nostalgic rememberings of carefree days as a toussle-haired little boy running through the forest eating hazlenuts, catching frogs in the sloughs, and making fires where it probably wasn't safe to make fires.

There are a lot of less pleasant memories from my childhood too, no doubt. But they're overshadowed by the memories of a kid doing what a kid should do on summer (or winter...) days.

The farm yard is essentially abandoned now. It looks to be overgrown with tall grass and weeds. The buildings which were in disrepair even when it was still an active farm are probably sagging badly, waiting to fall. The landscape, however, is still beautiful - rolling hills, pine forests, dusty roads, and the forks of the beautiful North and South Saskatchewan Rivers, just a couple miles down the road.

I would love to spend some more time out in that neck of the woods this spring, or maybe this summer. My dad still owns property out there, to the south of the old farm - where his parents farmed many moons ago. The land is used for growing a small amount of hay, but has plenty of poplar and pine, as well as piles of saskatoon berry trees and chokecherries. A lot of whitetail deer and rabbits make a home for their families there. I think I might bring my tent and get in touch with family roots on that little patch of land for at least a few days when the snow melts, and I'd like to do it with Shayan. She loves camping.

On a completely unrelated note, I also found this picture of my pal, Pastor Erik Anderson, outside of his home in the north end of Winnipeg during my virtual cruise. I believe he's holding a rake and standing next to a mower - proof for his spouse that he actually has done some of the domestic chores....

Thomas Merton on Renunciation

2010-02-15T19:52:00.005-06:00

Fickleness and indecision are signs of self-love.

If you can never make up your mind what God wills for you, but are always veering from one opinion to another, from one practice to another, from one method to another, it may be an indication that you are trying to get around God's will and do your own with a quiet conscience.

As soon as God gets you in one monastery you want to be in another. As soon as you taste one way of prayer you want to try another. You are always making resolutions and breaking them by counterresolutions. You ask your confessor and do not remember the answers. Before you finish one book you begin another, and with every book you read you change the whole plan of your interior life.

Soon you will have no interior life at all. Your whole existence will be a patchwork of confused desires and daydreams and velleities in which you do nothing except defeat the work of grace: for all this is an elaborate subconscious device of your nature to resist God, Whose work in your soul demands the sacrifice of all that you are.

So keep still and let Him do some work.

This is what it means to renounce not only pleasures and possessions, but even your own self.

6

2010-02-05T22:41:00.004-06:00

Shayan celebrated yet another birthday on Wednesday. It's hard to believe, but she's now 6 years old.... That's a big deal, and Shay new it - she had to pay to ride the city bus now.

Liz lovingly made cupcakes (some made to look like popcorn in a bucket, which Shayan was pretty pumped about) for the celebration. I spent the morning of the big day - while Shayan was at Kindergarten - blowing up over 200 balloons (no pump, all done the old fashioned way) to fill her room with. Both were very exciting surprises to the young lady of the day.

Here's looking at you, kid. I'm proud of you. I love you.

Friends

2010-01-22T06:14:00.003-06:00

I'm fortunate to be surrounded by many bright and brilliant people. I have a good community around me in our faith family at FCC. I live in a friendly city (in "Friendly Manitoba") that's populated by the kinds of folks whom I enjoy knowing.

And I have friends. According to facebook, 385 of them. But facebook is stupid....

There is a much smaller group of individuals within the communities to which I belong that I consider to be true friends - the kind that blur the family/friend line. I love these folks, and they love me well. And it seems, as of late, I've had to bid adieu to too many of them.

Brooke and Joel set sail (figuratively speaking...) for Hawaii this morning to begin a season of life on the islands. That's a tough one for me.... One more departure of soul-friends to deal with, though I know they'll be back one day. I mean, seriously.... Who wants to live in a tropical climate, working an adventurous dream job, and have 5 days off of work at a time to drink from a pineapple and learn to surf?

So to those dear friends of mine scattered to the winds for work and dream living - Joel, Brook, Rob, Del, Matthew, Greg - I love you guys and miss you.

I suppose I'll chew into the community around me and see what kinds of flavours emerge. Who knows what new soul-friends may be made in the coming months and years?

Haiti

2010-01-15T10:54:00.003-06:00

Our little church community is closely connected to a small town in the northern part of Haiti, and particularly to a medical clinic and the folks who work there. Dr. Manno and his associates are friends of Faith Covenant Church, and close personal friends with several of the members of our church who have spent time in his home in Haiti.

This morning I listened in as a friend here in Winnipeg spoke with those friends in Haiti over Skype. They are safe, as it was predominantly the southern part of the island that suffered from the quake. However, they all have loved ones in Port au Prince - some are alive, some are not, some are still missing. These friends in the north of Haiti are just now starting to realize what's happened in their country as communication is slow when you don't have working phones, etc.

Gas costs have risen drastically, so will food costs which were already too high for most Haitians to afford adequate nourishment. Shortages of the necessities will cause all kinds of economic problems for the whole of the country, even those who didn't experience the physical destruction of the quake.

And I'm thinking about the difficulty of the aid that is on the way making it's way to the people of Haiti when roads are destroyed, etc. Seems like such an enormous effort. I'm wondering how the next days and weeks will shake out for those folks.

What about civil unrest? How long til riots break out as people are hungry, angry, grieving, etc.?

Ugh....

Our friends in Haiti tell us that the best things we can do right now is to give to aid organizations (World Vision, Red Cross, Doctors Without Borders, World Relief, etc.), and pray.

Alright....

5 of 09

2010-01-06T10:40:00.004-06:00

I've been reflecting a little bit on the year that has now passed. I thought I'd compile a sort of Top 5 of 2009 - those things which were most significant in the lives of me and my family over the last months.

1. "Behold! A Son!"
OK, so it's pretty hard to beat the significance of adding a new family member to our little nucleus. Reuben North Jensen was born in the early evening of Halloween, after 5 long years of trying and hoping and praying for a child via the conventional methods. He is a gift to us. Father, mother, and big sis' are all grateful.

2. "The Martyrdom of St. Gregory"
We gained a member of the household and lost a member of the household. "Uncle Greg" had lived with Liz, Shay, and I for over three years when he moved to Calgary (*spit*) in pursuit of following Christ. Three years - that is half of my maried life, and more than half of Shayan's life (period). He holds a significant role in my life, and Shay's life too, for sure. It's not the same talking about Augustinian ideas of just war or watching wrestling with Shayan.... His leaving was a difficult transition for me/us, but it's exciting to see where God will lead him next.

3. "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten"
This fall marked Shayan's entrance into life as a student, a new step which has caused a significant change to family life routine. She was brave, bold, and excited as all get out, and my stomach was churning with nervousness, as Liz and I walked her to school on that first day. As each day passes I am amazed at how well and how quickly she learns. She has a sharp and creative mind, she is a wonderful friend to her classmates, and I'm excited about seeing her grow up and continue to learn.

4. "Holy Landing"
I've never had a huge amount of interest in global travel, but have long had a desire to see the biblical landscape for myself. This summer I was fortunate enough to have the chance to visit Israel/Palestine with some good friends. Seeing the holy sites as well as interacting with local people (both Israeli and Palestinian) was formative. I've got about 12oo pictures if you want to see them some time. And then there was that memorable evening with Erik in a little pub in downtown Jerusalem....

5. "On the Road"
My family and I have been the recipients of an almost inordinate amout of generosity. We continue to see the provision of God through family, friends, and our church as our life needs are taken care of. It's a "sacred flow." We received a trump card of a gift this summer when we were given a car made in this decade! We took the vehicle on a maiden voyage across Manitoba and Saskatchewan for some summer vacation. Highway #2 through southern Manitoba is gorgeous.

It's been a good year. A memorable one, for sure. Let's see if you've got what it takes, 2010, to stand up to the big '09....

Colossal Fossils

2009-12-18T10:41:00.003-06:00

I can't help but be a somewhat embarassed Canadian as I continue to hear coverage from the Copehagen Climate Change Conference. We've been dubbed the Fossil of the Year for the government's weak strategies and targets for addressing global climate change.

How can a country with so much natural green space, deep connection to the arctic and to three oceans, history of dependence on the to the land, etc. end up on the UN's naughty list when it comes to these kinds of issues of environmental care? It seems... unCanadian....

Get real, Mr. Harper.... Tar sands? That's not even that good of an economic idea. Why don't we harness some of Canada's potential for more enviro-friendly energy and make a mint selling that to the USA?

I'm neither an environmental scientist nor an economist, but I'm pretty sure that those two fields don't necessarily stand in opposition to one another. I'm for Canada's increasing economic growth (though I may have different ideas than Mr. Harper as to what the end goal of the bankroll should be...). But I'm for doing it with creativity, and a long view ahead that considers how to care for creation - people and planet.

A New Kind of Heresy

2009-12-06T23:32:00.007-06:00

Gnosticism. Arianism. Nestorianism. Pelagianism. These ways of thinking have been dubbed heretical in the Church - counter to orthodox belief founded in the apostolic teaching and Scriptures. Now a new threat looms....

I call it Caninism.

Yes, brothers and sisters, this vicious and destructive teaching is, evidently, infiltrating our society. Considering its level of popularity, sweeping up such Hollywood icons as Dean Cain and Mario Lopez (yes, THE Mario Lopez), it brings a new degree of threat to the faith.

They've even made a movie about it and are showing it on YTV in order to brainwash our children! (See image above - highlighted guide bar)

Dogs saving Christ?! What's next - the Holy Ghost is one of the past nine lives of a great departed feline?!

Stand firm in the faith, brothers and sisters! Do not submit to the devilish lures of Caninism! There is no power in this. Neither Dean Cain, nor Mario Lopez, nor "The Dog" can save you.*

* In case you didn't figure it out, this is just a joke.... Our MTS TV listing page cuts off titles if they are longer than the block for the time slot in which they fall. I'm sure "The Dog Who Saved Christmas" is a fine piece of film (cough) and espouses very few ideas the Church would deem heretical and worthy of condemnation, except for maybe dogs that can talk. That's clearly evil.

Laus Trinitai by Hildegard of Bingen

2009-12-04T13:47:00.002-06:00

To the Trinity be praise!
God is music, God is life
that nurtures every creature in its kind.
Our God is the song of the angel throng
and the splendor of secret ways
hid from all humankind,
But God our life is the life of all.

Look into the Eyes of Madness...!

2009-12-02T09:46:00.003-06:00

Rider Pride... Still

2009-11-29T23:18:00.003-06:00

Sure, I could complain. I mean, who loses the Grey Cup on a "too many men" penalty? Bush league.

The sad but true fact is that the Riders took their foot off the gas defensively*, and Calvillo found his stride when the Alouette's needed him too. Ultimately, the Riders blew a lead of more than two touchdowns - you can't do that in a Grey Cup game.

But my blood will be as green tomorrow as it was today at kickoff, because that's how real fans roll.

And in the CFL - a league with only eight teams - there really is always hope next season, especially when you've got a great young team like the Riders do.... Go green!

* With Calvillo's already ultra-quick release, he needs to be pressured. He can't have time in the pocket. It was a bad move to stop blitzing in the second half. Also, they needed an answer to the Al's second half run game which looked hefty....

"Moonshadow"

2009-11-25T14:19:00.001-06:00

Provision from the Breast of God

2009-11-20T11:05:00.005-06:00

This whole early infancy thing is teaching me a lot. It's provided a lot to think on.

The other day I was holding Reuben, rocking in my big brown chair in the living room. He was content for a long while, but, as 2 week old infants tend to do, he started to get hungry. As he got hungrier, he got fussier. Eventually he started to cry – that’s what babies do. Having heard him crying and knowing it was time for the next scheduled(ish) meal, Liz came down from our bedroom.

“I heard him crying from upstairs,” said Liz, “and as soon as I heard him, my breasts started to leak.” And with that, Reuben was whisked off for a nice big meal from mother dearest….

I’m pretty sure Liz wouldn’t mind me sharing that….

We are people with needs but the Lord Jesus taught us that the Father knows our needs before we even speak them. If an earthly father knows how to give an egg to his hungry child, wouldn’t the Heavenly Father know how to care for us and do it faithfully? Of course. We have the kind of Father God who hears our cries and responds. God’s is like a nursing mother who can’t help but respond instinctively (though that may not be a perfect word to use of God) to the cries of her hungry child. His very body responds to His crying children....

Take this for what it is - God is the one whose breasts leak at the sound of the cries of a child (this is good feminist theology, trust me…), because God is, in God's nature, a loving parent who provides for God's own beloved children.

Now the "body" of God is the Church. It is the body through which we receive sustenance, nourishment, care, and provision. I know this has been true for me and mine. And I keep on praying that we, the Church, would know how to live this out better each day....

Humour

2009-11-13T14:24:00.002-06:00

Shayan was "making up jokes" yesterday....

It could be that I'm not clever enough to catch the nuance in her jokes/riddles, or it could be that she just doesn't quite get the idea of a joke (despite the fact that Liz and I tried to explain it for about ten minutes). Either way, here are a few of them:

What would monkey bars do if they had arms?
They'd help all the children.

What would a tree do if it could walk?
It would go to church and sing along.

What would an ear do if it could talk?
It would say, "I cannot hear." (Because it would be talking)

An Anonymous Message Left on the Church Voicemail

2009-11-11T11:11:00.002-06:00

"You people are what's wrong with this world. You evangelicals.... You're wrong about so many things. Free choice, bitch!"

I wasn't quite sure how to react. I was a little confused. And I was a little disappointed that I never got to actually take that call (though I would think it would have just been a hang-up had anyone actually picked up on this end). But mostly, I laughed.

Not much else to do....

Reuben

2009-11-02T16:14:00.006-06:00

The latest addition to our clan has made his way into the world! Hallelujah!

Reuben North was born on Oct. 31st at 6:41pm; 23 inches long, 8 lbs. 5 oz. He's doing fine and dandy, and already eating like he's my son. He's fantastic - everything is where it should be - and we're so grateful to have received such a gift!

Aside from some tenderness and feeling a little worn out, Liz is also well. She was a trooper through the labour (we spent 29 hours in the hospital before the kid came on out...). The gory details, of which there are many, will be saved for the face to face visits....

Shayan is delighted to have a little brother. She'll be a dynamo of a big sister - she loves to help mom and dad, and she loves Reuben.

I'm fine too. Tired, but thrilled. I spent hours out of last night rocking Reuben (...sounds like a song title...), singing songs to him, recounting the story of God's Covenant to him, and explaining to him why the Toronto Maple Leafs ARE the greatest franchise in NHL history despite what others may tell him, all while Mommy tried to get some rest between his incredibly frequent feedings.

We arrived at home from the hospital this afternoon. Reuben and the rest of us are settling in. All is well. Visitors are welcome!

Now for the rest of this little dude's life....

Green is the Colour

2009-10-24T16:37:00.003-06:00

I can't help having the cockles of my heart warmed by this story. In fact, the warming goes deep. Perhaps all the way to the sub-cockles of my heart....

Canada's jr. team will wear Saskatchewan Roughrider green and white during a couple of their games at this winter's IIHF World Junior Championship, hosted in Regina and Saskatoon! Now that's some brilliant marketing....

Take note: this may make the perfect Christmas sweater for the Rider fan in your midst. It looks so festive!

What We Need is Here

2009-10-13T19:10:00.001-06:00

By Wendell Berry

Geese appear high over us,
pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,
as in love or sleep, holds
them to their way, clear
in the ancient faith: what we need
is here. And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye,
clear. What we need is here.

On Faith, Pt. 2

2009-10-09T13:54:00.005-06:00

I'm realizing, there's a lot to be said about the nature of faith.... After continuing to think that last post through, I'd like to add this one (long) point:

Faith is an intensely communal reality. North American Evangelical Christianity tends to over-privatize faith; while faith is certainly personal, it is certainly not private.

Faith is shared - it is not an isolated act or deed. No one can believe on their own, just as no one can live on their own. Neither you nor I have given ourselves life; likewise we have not given (or taken) ourselves faith. It has come to us through another, or more appropriately a long line of others.* As John Donne said, "no man [or woman] is an island entire of itself."**

Each individual believer is a link in a complex chain-mesh of believers, each link hanging one from another. For any new links to be added to the mesh there must be one before it from which it can hang.

This is nature of any faith, not just a particularly Christian faith. We always believe as part of a community of believers, whatever our faith or creed.*** The other alternative is to assert that one encounters and discovers all truths for oneself, solely originating from within as an interior dialogue the self. This is cosmically egotistical and a slap in the face of all other human beings who have come before or are now living.****

In Christian faith there is a long history of believers to which living saints today are bound. Paul says it beautifully in his letter to the church in Ephesus when he reminds them that they are built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone." (Ephesians 2:20 NIV). When the Church confesses "I believe..." in the Apostle's Creed, this is an inclusive and communal "I" (I, the Church - the saints before, the saints of present, and the saints to come).

Now faith is not only sourced in others, it is sustained and sharpened by others. Community is the place where one seeks truth and avoids errors. Community has a much long memory than any one individual. In the context of community ideas can be tried out and held against that long memory, drawing on the wisdom of those who have come before. If an idea has proven in the past to be lacking in truth and wisdom, the community can then speak against this idea.

This is not to say that community functions only as a gatekeeper to and preserver of that community's particular sense of orthodoxy. As mentioned above, community is the place where one not only avoids errors, but also is set free to seek truth. Creative and imaginative ideas must continue to be entertained in communities of belief. As communities tend to be conservative, they require fresh prophetic voices that challenge and aid in the continued process of working out orthodoxy. As example, late medieval Christianity needed the voices of the Reformers. This is what Robert McAfee Brown meant when he said that believing communties must be "a garden for heresy." These two in balance - seeking truth and avoiding error together - are how believing community sustains and sharpens faith.

* I've already spoken in the last post of faith as a gift of the Spirit (the capital "O" Other), so I'll leave that as is.
** And contrary to what Simon and Garfunkel sang....
*** Even the academy of scientists proves this to be true, as each individual always operates from the beginning point of the ("proven") beliefs of those who have come before them and work alongside them.
**** It seems reasonable to contend that even if the faith one espouses were somehow entirely original and the product only of interior conversation (and not community), that, if one vehemently held it to be true, one would perforce share it with others; and thus, whether they directly desired it or not, a new community would be created around it.

On Faith

2009-10-01T21:26:00.003-06:00

I'm in Calgary.

Let me pause to say, "...ish."

I'm in Calgary taking a class for my ordination process - "The Theology of the Evangelical Covenant Church." It's been just fine so far; nothing to complain about anyway. I'm realizing more and more that, though I've still got lots of questions and really desire ongoing conversation about a lot of these complex issues, this is a theological home for me. It's centered on things I deeply believe in, and it leaves room for ambiguity, interpretation, and dialogue amidst the community. I like that....

But right now, and after some lengthy* emails back and forth with a dear pal, I'm thinking about the nature of belief and faith.

I recognize that their is a level of cognitive assent in belief - I think this thing, or these things, to be true in my mind. I have reasoned out that something is good, sensible, and right. I'm convinced this is only a very small piece of what faith is, though it's important.

I also believe that faith contains an element of (personal) trust that moves one beyond oneself. Faith isn't just some intellectual consideration; it connects with me at my center and involves all of my person, but calls me beyond and outside of myself toward the object of faith. It's inherently a reliance on the faithfulness of Another. It is trust.

Perhaps most foundationally, I believe that faith is a gift. Faith is at least as much something that happens to us as it is something we do. The act of faith requires a disposition, openness, and responsiveness to the object of faith which (certainly in the case of a spiritual/religious faith; ie. Christianity) is beyond one's control, despite what we'd like to think. Martin Luther once said, "I believe that not of my own reason and power do I believe in my Lord or am able to come to Him." Without this gift of faith coming from outside of ourselves all we can muster is either prideful convictions (our own shallow certainties) or anxieties (our own crippling uncertainties).** This is the kind of faith that can be certainty because it does not rely on the self.

I recognize all of this in my own life and story. Most certainly I see my sometimes frail faith as provisional - I couldn't believe, were it not for One who is gracious enough to enable faith in me and bring it home.

I've found myself reiterating this prayer for myself, and on behalf of my friends and my church - the prayer of the loving father whose son was in bondage to a sort of demon: "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24).

* I prefer to pronounce it as "lenthy." Not sure why - makes me feel more like a school teacher, I think....
** Barth gets propers for some of that idea. See chapter 2 in Dogmatics in Outline.

Gone Fishin'... for MEN

2009-09-24T15:03:00.002-06:00

Now that I see it written, I'm not sure if that title looks right.... I feel like it may be giving mixed messages....

To clarify, I'm off for the weekend to Covenant Bay Bible Camp in Alberta to speak at a youth retreat. I'm not interested in any new bromances....

Following the weekend I spend a couple days in Calgary visiting some friends, and from Wednesday through the next Sunday will be in a theology class necessary for my ordination process to carry on.

This is all good stuff, but it'll be hard to leave. I'm leaving my mucho-prego wife behind, as well as the little girl. I'll be packing lots of nervousness and worry for the journey, no doubt.

Pray for them and me in the next week, if you don't mind.

The Prince of Thieves and the Prince of My Heart....

2009-09-23T13:43:00.003-06:00

I'm home today doing some reading, studying, and writing - preparing for speaking at a retreat in Alberta this weekend. I'm looking forward to it.

I usually like some background noise while I do this kind of work, so I popped a carefully chosen video cassette* in the player. But this is not just any video cassette: Kevin Costner's finest work as "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves."**

Hot damn, I forgot how enjoyable this movie is. And it's amazing how much of the dialogue I can quote along with the film...

* Yes, we do still have a VHS machine. And, yes, we still use it from time to time....
** And, YES, Mike - you can borrow "Prince of Thieves" from me....

Another One from "Married to the Sea"

2009-09-21T21:38:00.000-06:00

marriedtothesea.com

This is How Much I Love My Daughter

2009-09-18T20:40:00.002-06:00

In case you couldn't tell, I played "Rabbit."

Aaarrggh!

2009-09-18T20:15:00.004-06:00

I have my old white Mercury wagon up for sale - $1900. It's advertised on Kijiji here.

Someone was supposed to come by tonight to take a look at it - they sounded really interested - and said they'd be by around 8:00pm.*

8:00pm came and went. No knock at the door, no phone call, and certainly no sale. About 9:00pm my cel makes an irritating little jingle and the light on its front begins to blink. I have voicemail.

Apparently my would-be purchaser had been waiting by the car (which was parked on the street) around 8:30pm. I'm not sure why he didn't come to my door (maybe he forgot to take down the suite address...?), but my phone certainly didn't ring when he, apparently, called.

So, thanks for dick all, Mantioba Telecom Services (provider) and Samsung (brand of phone). Your poor service might have just cost me almost $2000....

You'll rue the day you crossed me....

*I'm a loser so I don't do anything on Friday night anyway...

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

2009-09-17T13:59:00.005-06:00

With much fear and trepidation, Shayan began her very first day of school.

Actually, the fear and trepidation all belonged to Liz and I. OK.... Mostly to me. I was having a seriously hard time with it all - my little girl growing up and going away to be influenced by who knows what kind of people.... Scary stuff, this whole losing control thing.... All kinds of exaggerated ideas of what the future may hold have floated through my mind in the last two weeks.

Shayan, Liz, and I walked to the school that first morning, taking in the sight of all the kids in the neighbourhood being funneled in one direction.

Shay was clearly excited as she skipped along, back pack rattling and hair bobbing. "I'm so excited! My backpack is singing and my pigtails are dancing!"

She has a lot of confidence. She didn't seem nervous in the slightest, but was rather entirely delighted with the idea of learning and having fun with a whole classroom full of new friends. She'll do well. I'm sure.

I'll make it too. Shayan insists, "You'll get used to it, dad."

Haven't Heard That Before...

2009-09-03T13:29:00.004-06:00

"How tall are you?" I get that question a lot. And after my response ("I'm 6'8")*, a second question is usually elicited.

"Do you play basketball?"

Sometimes it's not basketball. Sometimes it's "do you play volleyball?" or "do you play hockey?" Apparently people think height is enough to be successful in those things. Apparently they don't also recognize that I hobble on my bad knees and have a minor case of man-breasts that would indicate a lack of regular physical activity....

Today while in a Safeway I was asked my height by the 60-something year old bag "boy." After quickly giving him my answer, he had a less conventional follow-up question.

"Six foot eight? Jesus.... Do you play badminton or something?"

That was a new one. I've never thought about height as an advantage in badminton - maybe it is. Frankly, I don't know if I've ever thought about badminton, period.... Maybe I should look into it. The bag "boy" seems to think I've got what it takes....

* I've been thinking that I should start stating my height in metric units - maybe millimetres. I think it would make my stature seem even more impressive to tell people I stand well over 2000mm tall.

Sniff

2009-08-26T10:47:00.005-06:00

I've had a cold for a few days now; can't seem to shake of the last of the symptoms.

I'm producing an incredible amount of mucus... I didn't know this was possible. I think it's rivalling my fluid intake on any given day....

Any home remedies I should try?

One Nation Under Prog

2009-08-20T13:38:00.008-06:00

Last weekend I attended my first metal/progressive rock concert - and it was a doozy! The "Progressive Nation" tour came through Winnipeg, and I, along with the rest of my transplanted Prince Albert posse, were in house to take in key change after key change, time signature shift after time signature shift, and wild solo after wild solo....

The four bands on the card included Scale the Summit, Bigelf, Zappa Plays Zappa, and, of course, the Lords of Prog themselves, Dream Theater. It was quite a fine show - the bands were on their game (Zappa was unreal...), the crowd was excitable, and I didn't even have to pay for my own ticket....

Some pictures, you say? Certainly:

"Literally..."

2009-08-14T14:35:00.004-06:00

The word means "in actuality", or "in the strictest sense of the word(s)" and is used to indicate emphasis.

EXAMPLE:
"It was so hot in my house that I was literally sweating."

That is an accurate use of the word. The reader understands that the individual was made to be uncomfortably warm in his/her home and subsequently began to perspire. Good job, "Literally." You've served your function in the English language well....

Now, can someone please explain the reason that this word - a good word, perfectly useful as is - is also being used to mean quite an opposite thing ("figuratively," which is also a useful word in its own right)?

EXAMPLE:
"It was so hot in my house that I literally sweat to death."
OR
"It was so hot in my house that I literally sweat my ass off."

Now, neither of those uses are actually literal. If one has "literally sweat to death" it seems improbable that they're making a report to anyone of this. As for the second example, I'm not a proctologist, but I doubt the probability of that literally coming to pass.

While watching CBC Newsworld the other day (yes, I'm a loser...) a sharp, young reporter was discussing more of the world's financial woes. "These people are literally drowning in debt," she said.

Really? Literally drowning in debt? Is that possible? Well, perhaps if your home were so filled with overdue bills from floor to ceiling that you were choked for air and suffocated.... Seems a bit unlikely though.

I expect better from the bright folks of CBC Newsworld. Frankly, I expect better from the general populous of a well educated country. Let's mind our words, people. This kind of carelessness is FIGURATIVELY driving me up a wall....

Israel / Palestine

2009-08-05T11:04:00.006-06:00

What an absolute pleasure it was to have a chance to tool around the Holy Land with good folks for nearly two weeks (July 19th - 31st). We saw lots of the old stones that make that place a spot for pilgrimage - ruins of biblical and historical significance, majestic churches, etc. We also had opportunity to meet and have conversations with locals - people who live in Israel / Palestine; Christians, Jews, Palestinians, Israelis, etc. - and listen to those "living stones."

I'm sure I have mountains to write about the whole experience, but I've got no idea where to begin or end.... Ever have one of those experiences?

Here's what I will do: post some pictures, provide THIS LINK to a blog that one of our trip leaders was keeping during the journey (more of my pictures are posted there), and promise that if you have questions that I'll get back to you with thoughts/answers.

"Unnecessary"

2009-07-15T15:38:00.003-06:00

I've noticed a recent trend which ought to be addressed: quotation marks (") are showing up where they don't belong.

They're popping up all over, surrounding words and phrases that have no need for them. This guy knows what I'm talking about.

Everything starts to look like a dirty euphemism when you start putting those "'s around every third word. Stop doing that!

Even worse, the finger-air-quote gesture is becoming more commonplace than all the other conventional finger gestures combined. I'm sure you know someone who is notorious for this offence.

The other day, while sharing a fine breakfast, I watched my friend and dining partner use those finger-air-quote-things... while he was talking on his cellular phone.

Am I the only one that thinks that is a tad ridiculous? The person on the other end can't even see what you're doing!

Seriously, people.... This is just "unnecessary."

Entering the Promised Land

2009-07-14T17:11:00.003-06:00

This trip to the Holy Land is coming hot - I leave on Saturday morning! It's hard to believe....

But the closer it gets, the more excited I am feeling.* Jerusalem, Nazareth, Bethlehem.... En Gedi, the Church of the Nativity, Masada, the Pool of Siloam.... Visiting a World Vision project that provides care for Palestinian families, talking with Christian leaders in Nazareth, visiting Bethlehem Bible College.... Sleeping on the shore of the sea of Galillee, walking the streets of the Old City, driving through the Judean countryside.... Seeing places that Jesus Christ saw.... Hearing the stories of people who live in that volatile but incredible place....

I'm certain God has life-shaping things in mind for me during this trip. Along with my Covenant brothers and sisters, I'm thinking I'll be encouraged in my faith, and pushed to pursue Jesus and His Way.

Pray for me and my travelling compadres. Pray for my family. I'll post plenty of pictures when I get back. There will be stories to tell, for certain.

*Today, along with my rising excitement, I'm experiencing a deep sense of loss. I will miss the gregarious companionship of my dear pal, Jimbo, who, up until yesterday, was scheduled to be my roomie while in Israel. He now has to miss out due to health issues.... I'm grieving this.

Green Acres

2009-07-09T16:52:00.004-06:00

The summer of 2009 has been kind to the Jensen clan. As busy as it has been, there's been plenty of time for us to be together and to enjoy the green time. We even spent a little time out on my old man's farm and visited the site of the Jensen homestead. Lovely countryside up/out there - green, rolling hills, poplar forests, and all the wildlife that flocks to out of the way riverbanks....

I miss rural life sometimes....

Family Leisure

2009-06-17T22:24:00.004-06:00

It's been a while but the Jensen clan has hit the road on a not-so-planned-out vacation. I marked the time off on my calendar a while ago - which has mostly worked out so far, excepting a few items requiring email and phone call attention - and am now out and about with the wife and daughter.*

We decided to take a week and play it mostly by ear, deciding from one day to the next (for the most part) what each new morning/afternoon/evening would hold. That's how I like my vacation time: flexible.

Sunday had us in Winkler, riding a hotel water slide and visiting with Liz's sister. The next morning, after a leisurely breakfast, we hit the open road down some Manitoba highway I had never driven on in my life, across the SK border and into Moose Mountain Provincial Park. It's a lovely little park and we decided to stay a couple days to tent, cook outside over the fire, walk some trails, blow some bubbles, eat some ice cream, etc. This morning we packed up the tent and took the scenic route to Regina (yes, there is scenery in southern SK). I spent almost an hour in my vehicle listening to "Q" on CBC Radio (Jian was interviewing Dave Matthews about the new album!) while Liz and Shay ingested some Tim Horton's eats. Low note - Liz found some packaging trash in her soup.... We visited the very well populated Saskatchewan Science Museum (apparently every Gr.2 teacher in Regina had the same idea for their classes today...), and, after going through a quick and furious downpour of rain, we headed to Moose Jaw for a relaxed evening of pizza, swimming in the hotel pool, and Survivorman.

What will tomorrow hold? I think a trip to Prince Albert is in order, though there may be detours along the way.... We're looking forward to being there for my youngest brother's graduation from high school over the weekend. Also, I have the joyful privilege of preaching in my home church and sharing the Gospel again with those old soldiers this Sunday.... Good times.

I sure love my family.... It's amazing that I can keep myself from this kind of time with them and get any work done during "the regular season." It's a wonder that I forget how good these times are when I'm in the crunch.

I'll have to work on that.

*Also along on his/her first road trip is Fester the Fetus.

Appledom

2009-05-25T15:50:00.003-06:00

I have been given a gift.... Wait, that sounds like I'm about to embark on a mystical quest....

What I mean is that a generous friend gave me an iPod Touch as a present. It's my first MP3 player and my first step into the world of Apple technology.

It's quite the little gadget, and I'm only beginning to look into all the available applications. But what I really care about is that it holds a LOT (16GB) of music, and as my old, faithful CD player as been dying a slow death over the past few months it's a wonderful gift to receive.

I suddenly feel so hip.... I think I might get thick rimmed glasses and a soul patch next so that I can sit around and look entirely pretentious as I waste my time in coffee shops....

Renters

2009-05-21T09:50:00.003-06:00

We've had our share of frustrations with out landlords/building managers. They're not really the easiest people to get along with - rude, impatient, poor listeners, and, frankly, lazy managers (we waited well over a month for a broken window to get fixed in the midst of a very chilly Manitoba March, while we were paying the heating bills...).

But we like our home, so we deal with it, right?

As of late our complex has been getting an increasing number of angry sounding notices about everything from lawn maintenance, to noise levels, to where in the common yard children are (not) allowed to play. It's becoming a bit of an inhospitable place, with overstated, over-enforced rules about every little thing under the sun.

This morning my next door neighbour was loading furniture into his van. I popped over for a chat and found that he's been evicted. He was given 2 days notice (which I'm pretty sure isn't even legal...) to pack up his wife and 5 year old daughter - one of Shayan's good friends - and find a new home. They've been asked to leave after his daughter was caught playing in the courtyard (which is unallowed) one time too many.

Remember how I said that the landlord was rude? When the lil' girl was caught in the courtyard she was yelled at and told by the caretaker (ironic term in this case) that he would "rip [her] head off if [he] caught her playing [there] again."

Umm.... I'm pretty sure if it was my daughter who was threatened like that there would be hell to pay. I would tend to react in an uncharitable way to violent threats against my child.

Of course, there must be more to the story than "you're being evicted for your 5 year old playing here...." My neighbour had previously written a letter of complaint to the tenancy board regarding the designated play area - it's always ridden with trash and broken bottles. That probably was a factor. And, who knows, maybe the dude is perpetually late with his rent.

What I do know is that these landlords are getting to me. We'd like to find a new place but there are a lot of complicating factors (money, a lease agreement that isn't up until November 1st, a pregnant wife that's due to give birth November 4th...).

It'd be a dream to own a home - not for the equity, just for the freedom from d-bag landlords. But since it looks like that may not ever be in the cards, we'll just try to be good tenants and find better landlords before I do something unchristian in reaction to the crappy ones we have now.

"Home to Manitoba"

2009-05-20T07:27:00.002-06:00

I'm grateful for how the past weekend in Norquay played out. Despite the initial scare we received from the snowfall on day #1, all the elements of the weekend fell in line. No one got lost. No one was seriously injured. We all ate enough and slept almost enough.... Leaders were able to connect with their students - to have fun with them and encourage them. Students heard the Gospel and were called to a response of faith that included concrete ways to participate in God's justice. I think we might have even done OK budget-wise (which would be a small miracle).

That's one of the largest, most embellished "checks" I've ever got to mark off on my to-do list. The preparation of that event seemed to take up so much of my time and energy over the past couple months that I'm not sure what I'll do now that it's over with. I'm sure I'll find something.

Hopefully something that involves family, friends, and BBQ's....

Stressed

2009-05-14T22:17:00.002-06:00

I'm in Norquay, SK in the middle of a mid-May snow storm. Rats....

This weekend groups of students from Covenant Churches across Canada will gather together in this dusty (check that - snowy) little prairie town to participate in some kind of wild and holy combination of crazy jr. high fun and transcendant encounters with the Living God.

There's lots of work to be done for this event still. I've done enough of these types of things to know when my feet are about to be set to scrambling.

If you think of it, pray for me and us. People are going to need travelling mercies in the poor weather. Leaders are going to need energy to keep pace with the excited kids. We all need a transformative meeting with Jesus.

Working Class

2009-05-13T07:11:00.004-06:00

I've said it before - there are two kinds of jobs you can have in this life: the kind where you shower before work, and the kind where you shower after work.

It's a good, steady (and entirely unneeded) rainy day here in Winnipeg, and I'm thinking about a third kind of job: the kind where you shower at work.

This morning I'm raising my McDonald's coffee to the hard working Winnipegers who are working outside today under the cold rain. I hope the showers you have when you come home warm you from the showers you experienced at work. Thanks for what you do for all of us who have the luxury of working indoors.

The Food was Great, But the Ambiance Left Something to be Desired

2009-05-11T21:20:00.003-06:00

I love good food. Love it.

On the rare occassion that Liz and I get out to a nice restaraunt - usually when we've been given a gift certificate - we like to go big. Appetizers, any entree on the menu, drinks, dessert, coffee, etc. We go for the whole experience.

Tonight we had the pleasure of dining at Winnipeg's very fine Bonfire Bistro. The food was wonderful, but I was... put off by the clientel.

The perpetual downfall of the small, trendy, bistros is that they always attract puffed up, overfed, overpaid, phoney-bologna, pretentious yuppies.

As we sat eating our meal in the chic little restaraunt, I watched a birthday party unfold a couple tables over - for a 13 year old girl. She, and her bevy of girlfriends, sat drinking Orangina from ice-filled glasses as mom and dad sat sipping chardonnay.

Aren't jr. high kids supposed to go to McDonald's for birthday parties?

The couples sitting right next to us also fit the stereotype for the uptown bistro-goers. The fellas had the cuffs of their pinstriped shirts flipped up, and, though they were both clearly balding, gelled their hair into thin, spikey, tufts. The ladies jabbered on and on about which peppermill was of the highest quality, and how anyone that uses a brand of peppermill other than "brand-X" is just silly.

Ridculous. If you're quality of life really hinges on superficial things like what peppermill you have in your kitchen, you'll probably be a chronically unsatisfied person.

Maybe I'm a bad person for being aggravated by these kinds of things and critisizing these folks. Maybe, but I'm not convinced of it....

But the food really was good.

Not Worth It

2009-05-06T06:55:00.005-06:00

I'm a reasonably driven person. I rarely quit or give up. There are moments when, after finishing some challenging task or suffering through some sort of battle, I come out on the other end glad to have done it. There is a sense of accomplishment and victory. There's satisfaction in just knowing that I've persevered.

Not this time.

I hiked a reasonable leg (12km) of the Mantario Trail (and the word "trail" is used pretty loosely there, considering I crossed two beaver damns) on Monday afternoon. It's Canadian shield country - big hills, rocky climbs, lots of bush, etc. And it's early May - the snow has just melted leaving the "trail" portions in the lowlands as a sloppy bog. I spent one night of camping with some friends on a rocky pier on Caribou lake, and then the next day we went back out over the same tiring, feet-soaking "trail" we came in on - only this time I was dehyrdated to cap it off....

Today my legs are aching from the hill climbing - prairie boys just weren't made for that. And, after dragging my groggy self to the church at 6:30am for some morning prayers, I am tired as all get out.

Sometimes you come through these things with a sense of accomplishment - with self-satisfaction in knowing that you've completed the task set out in front of you. Not this time. Though I love camping with good friends, that was not worth it....

S-M-R-T

2009-04-29T12:07:00.005-06:00

Apparently the children of mothers with morning sickness score higher on performance IQ, verbal fluency, phonological processing, and numerical memory.

More details here.

Liz has been sick most of her waking hours over the last few months. So, I suppose our baby will look something like this:

An Angry Blog to an Un-named Recipient

2009-04-28T15:21:00.003-06:00

Listen; I don't know how to say this any more plainly than: "this really is your fault."

That's right, I said it. I did the oh-so-unthinkable and placed blame. I know, I know.... "You shouldn't should people," right? But it's time that you knew - it's not the faults of everyone else that are illuminated in this situation, it's yours.

Your character is weak. Your will is soft. You are to blame.

You'd like to have someone to hold the bag for you in this, but there just isn't anyone else. It's you.

My advice: get real. Recognize that you really are the one to make these kinds of decisions and changes take place, not someone else. Accept that hard reality and walk forward.

That's what the rest of us are trying to do....

*Please don't read too much into this. I assure you it's less abrassive than it first appears.

Hey Mickey, You're So Fine - You're So Fine You Blow My Mind

2009-04-24T09:55:00.002-06:00

Hey Mickey.

After having been continually assaulted with a barrage of previews during its theatre release and, subsequently, now that it's out on DVD (and Blue Ray - like anyone has Blue Ray...) I finally got around to watching "The Wrestler."

Sad, sad story.

But Mr. Rourke gives a dynamo of a performance.

Lub-Dub

2009-04-23T10:15:00.004-06:00

It's sinking in.

We had our first appointment with the doctor we'll have through this whole pregnancy ordeal. A quick and simple meeting - she checked Liz's blood pressure, listened to her heart and lungs, asked some family history questions....

I had my mind blown when we able to listen to the little fella's (or lassie's) heart palpatating away, somewhere in 140 - 150 bpm range. Kind of makes this whole thing a little more real....

Of course, this kind of day is a day for celebration, so after some quick work duties the family and I grabbed a delish lunch at Fallafel Place followed by ice cream at the legendary BDI and a walk down the footbridge.

Oh, and the due date we're looking at (though these things seem as theoretical as string theory) is November 4th.

Thoughts on Holy Week

2009-04-14T14:58:00.010-06:00

I had promised to recount of few of my reflections on Holy Week. It seems a good exercise for my soul, in addition to tackling down the sad reality that I haven't posted anything of substance here for some time. SO:

For whatever reason, Holy Week entirely overwhelmed me this year. Maybe it was the lenten fasting that I engaged in as preparation. Maybe it was reading through the Gospel of Mark a few times. Maybe it was the way that my friends and church community around me engaged in the old stories. Maybe it was simply that God desired to press on me a little harder than He has in the last year or two. Maybe it was all of the above.... But Holy Week was overwhelming.

I spent Thursday working on crafting a prayer journey for our church community - one that would lead people from the upper room, into the garden, and right up to the crucifixion of the Lord. I spent significant time thinking of these texts, reflecting on some of William Blake's work (below), and walking with Jesus through the heartache of some of these moments. I was struck by the grace of Jesus - the one who knowingly ate an intimate meal with those who would soon betray him. I was struck by the devotion of Jesus - the one who wrestled and remained faithful to the will of the Father, in stark contrast to the disciples who couldn't even stay awake to pray with him, or to Judas who turned on his friend and master for money. And I was struck by the love of Jesus - the one who modeled his own words that decimate when I read them, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."

On Good Friday our church held a service. It was a dirge - a funeral. Dark and lacking in life, except for only a faint flicker. I think that's how Good Friday (perhaps more appropriately called Black Friday) should be. Jesus was dead - really dead, not just sort of dead. The Son of God laid down his precious life. But - and this was the primary thought of my Good Friday homily/eulogy - it wasn't just any death. This was the very Son of God who died, and at His death the earth shook, the sun turned black, and the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. This wasn't just another unjust murder, or the story of political rabble-rouser who's revolution was snuffed out by the powers that be. It wasn't just the last chapter in, as Dave Matthews says, the story of "an amazing man who got screwed." The stories of Maundy Thursdy - the resolute Jesus who was determined to walk this road for love's sake - won't let us think that. Good Friday broke my heart with the truth that the Son of God had died... for me.

Holy Saturday was quiet. I spent it cloystered away in my home, doing some simple domestic chores and waiting, re-reading the Gospel story one more time....

On the morning of the resurrection I woke up with a big sense of joy. I gathered my clan - the dear wife and daughter - and we came together at the breakfast table to read the story and hear the good news: Jesus is risen! We ate warm hot-cross buns with butter and got ourselves on our way to share in the good news with the faith community.

On the way to church, listening to the God-channel on the radio, I was overcome with Easter thoughts - life, freedom, the love of God.... I had a "vision" (don't get weird on me for using that term, I just can't think of a better one) of Jesus as the Victor. He wrestled his way through the Adolf Hitler, Pol Pot, Than Shwe, Idi Amin, Robert Mugabe, and more - all the powerful people who represent death. He toppled them over and at the end called out to all of the people who had been cowering from them, "You're free of them now!" Jesus has conquered death and evil!

Sunday morning we praised God who had raised His Son from the dead! It's good to shout together, "Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!" I'm wondering why we don't celebrate that way more often.... The morning was full of hearing Gospel, and singing, and shouting, and celebrating. I was glad to have the chance to share the story of Christ's resurrection with the wee ones of our church, being certain to clear up along the way the difference between the statements "Jesus is risen" and "Jesus is a raisen." Christ is alive and well, and He is the victor over evil, death and the grave.

The afternoon was a time to feast with family and those who might as well be family. I broke the lenten fast with a flesh-feast for the ages - lamb shank, pork tenderloin, ham.... I'm realizing, the feasting makes much more sense after the fasting. That meal was just as much a part of Easter as any song sung that morning. It was celebrative and a joy-moment.

Christ is alive! He is risen! This is GOOD NEWS. It's a good job that Easter, according to the church calendar, continues on for a few more weeks. I'm still hopped up on Easter joy....

Free Ride is Over

2009-04-09T17:49:00.003-06:00

This is one of those apology posts - the kind where the author incessantly rambles on about how they wish they would have written more posts, but there has been some form or another of opposition.

My lame excuse: the free internet ride is over. No more unprotected wireless signal from some unknown neighbour.

It's for the best. This is holy week - a time for prayer and fasting. Gmail, facebook, tsn.ca, etc. just provide too many distractions. And then there's that whole ethical problem with "stealing." Not sure what I think about that really, but I'll confess it as sin anyway, since this is the time for penitence.

This holy week has already been deep, unsettling, and profound for me. I'll talk a little more about this later - this is no time to be internetting. It's Maundy Thursday. There are prayers to be made....

Misnomer

2009-03-26T20:53:00.004-06:00

On a late night, slippery, sliding drive through old St. Boniface, I passed what I would consider a poorly named business:

"Legal Locksmith"

Hmmm.... As opposed to...? I think the other kind are properly referred to as "burglars."

Bah....

2009-03-25T16:39:00.003-06:00

I was TOTALLY wrong. The warm weather is gone and has been replaced with a late March blizzard that has, so far, lasted almost 24 hours....

And in two days of spring-like weather, every other Winnipeger has lost their winter driving skills.

'Tis FINALLY the Season

2009-03-23T00:27:00.003-06:00

The warmer weather seems to be here to stay and so I fired up the BBQ today.

Praise the Lord.

I broke my Lenten fast (I'm vegan for this season of preparation) with a mini-Easter feast of long marinated and flame-grilled sirloin steaks.

Some things are just right.

It's amazing the way you appreciate meat, cheese, etc. when you only eat if at one meal a week....

New

2009-03-19T13:36:00.004-06:00

It's been a while of waiting, but, apparently, God had it in mind.

Liz is pregnant.

We're expecting child #2 (though the first by "conventional means") sometime in October-ish. We jumped right into parenting a 22 month old with only a couple weeks notice last time, so the 9 month leadup, birth process, and early infancy are all uncharted waters to us.

I am dang excited, and, as of right now, not all too worried. I mean, seriously... how hard could it be? Cave men/women raised babies. I am at least as smart as a cave man. AND I have wikipedia....

"How to See the Sunrise"

2009-03-17T00:09:00.002-06:00

Ben Sollee - talented and unique. Who would have guessed there were still artists like that these days....

Enjoy.

Pilgrim

2009-03-15T19:43:00.003-06:00

As the great Steve Earle sings, "I am just a pilgrim on this road, boys...."

And this pilgrim is headed to the Holy Land. This summer I have signed on for an unbelievable opportunity to go to Israel - to see where Jesus walked and taught and to be shaped in that setting, but also to engage in conversations about the complex political goingson in that area. It will certainly be challenging and transformative.

So now I have a few months to get my act together, sort out my passport, be an extra good husband (you gotta do that kind of thing when you leave the wife for two weeks), and figure the finances for this. I'm trusting God has ways of working all this out, and - praise Him - I'm seeing it happen already.

Do me a solid and pray for me in this stuff. Even more importantly, pray for the people who live in Israel - Jews, Christians, Palestinians. Pray for the God of Shalom to bring this goodness home, right into the midst of His people.

Get the Blue

2009-03-13T15:26:00.004-06:00

Though the daytimer doesn't seem to have a lot of blank paper over the next day or two, I've made a commitment. Somewhere in the midst of preparing curriculum for children ministry, working to coordinate a multi-site inter-church youth event, attending a weekend conference on worship ministry, planning worship for this weekend's services, participating in two weekend worship experiences with our faith community, tearing into some class reading I am now way behind on, playing with my energetic daughter, and having some time to talk to the woman I love (sorry, not you, mom), I WILL listen through Joni Mitchell's tremendous work: "Blue."

If you've never given about 33 minutes to sitting still, drinking hot coffee, and participating in this album... well, I just feel sorry for you. It puts the world to right for just over half an hour....

Nice Cut, Buddy!

2009-03-12T22:26:00.006-06:00

Though probably no more than your "Average Joe Dixon," I continue to stumble through life. After almost six years I'm slowly beginning to figure out the husband thing. I'm making up the father thing as I go, and don't think I've caused any enduring trauma yet. The whole pastoral journey, well.... Some weeks are OK. Some weeks, I'm a little embarassed.

But I continue to learn and be formed. Slowly, but surely.

I was reminded today by a wise man, for whom I have profound respect, of the need to read Scripture, not because it's the right thing to do, but so that I can know the right thing to do.

I'd like that.... I'd like to know the right thing to do. And I would like to actually do it. I'd like to "succeed" in the things of life and not fall down "like a little dumb loser."

Maybe next game, kid. Atta' buddy!

Due credit to "Married to the Sea" for the graphic. If you have a dry and slightly off-coloured sense of humour, you might want to visit. If not... probably best to steer clear.

-1

2009-03-07T23:18:00.002-06:00

I suppose there are two ways to look at it:

1) I (we) lose an hour of sleep overnight tonight. Daylight savings kicks in and tomorrow comes just a little sooner than I was prepared for (especially as I'm still doing some honing work on this sermon for the morning).

2) I (we) can wipe out one hour of the past four and a half months. Pretend it never happened and take it off the books altogether....

I'm going with option #2. It's a good option. The tricky part is figuring which hour of the past to obliterate.... There are a few candidates.

I think I'll wipe clean (one of) the hour(s) over Christmas that I spent trying to deal with my car which had a frozen PVC valve and subsequently regurgitated oil all over the engine.

POOF

It's just that easy folks. Never happened (though the bank balance might say otherwise). How 'bout you? What hour are you going to wipe off the slate of the last 4.5 months?

He Sold His Soul to the Devils

2009-02-26T22:33:00.003-06:00

After being out of action for 50 games this season recovering from surgery to repair torn muscles near his elbow Martin Brodeur recorded a shutout in his first game back in action.

If you're counting, that's 99 shutouts in the career (5 away from the record).

I'm gonna put this out there:
Best. Goalie. Ever.

A Prayer for Ash Wednesday by St. Ambrose

2009-02-25T00:27:00.002-06:00

O Lord, who hast mercy upon all,
take away from me my sins,
and mercifully kindle in me
the fire of thy Holy Spirit.
Take away from me the heart of stone,
and give me a heart of flesh,
a heart to love and adore Thee,
a heart to delight in Thee,
to follow and enjoy Thee, for Christ's sake.
Amen.

Affirmation

2009-02-21T22:36:00.003-06:00

...the word of the day.

Our congregation had its annual general business meeting today - a time to reflect on the year that has been, and to look forward to the year that we're entering into. It's a designated time and place for the congregation to give thanks and to pray to the Spirit for wisdom and vision.

And as a pastor - someone given compensation by the congregation in order that I might serve the community with vigor and faithfulness - it's also a time where I sweat a little....

I'm keenly aware of my shortcomings and, though I know I serve in a grace-oriented community, I tend to play out wild scenarios in my mind in which I get run into the ground for my flaws during the course of one of these meetings.

Now, I've not been absolved of my shortcomings, but in today's meeting I felt encouraged in the ways which I try to presence Christ and serve in this community. I was affirmed, and that's a welcome thing.

I'm not entirely sure how to do this pastoral thing yet, but this is the kind of community I want to learn in....

Father, bless these friends of mine who bless me with friendship, support, encouragement, and challenge toward growth. Teach me to love faithfully - to care for them not begrudgingly, but joyfully.

The Legend of Narcissus... Kind Of

2009-02-17T01:40:00.005-06:00

I suppose it's some sort of interior personality conflict....

I'm quite self-absorbed - I spend the lion's share of my time thinking about myself and my own life. Isn't it obvious? I have a blog.... But my self-focus is not boastful and self-loving. In fact, quite the opposite. Most of the hours I give to thinking about me, myself, and I are orientated toward either strong self-criticism or wondering whether others are just as critical of who I am what I do.

I have a hugely inflated idea of my own importance in the world, but I usually assume wide-sweeping fault rather than praise/innocence. I chronically entertain ideas that struggles and adversity in my home, church, etc. are directly and unequivocally correspondant to something that I have done or not done.

If that whole thing about "The Secret" is for real, I'm probably in trouble....

I don't want to be absolved of my faults or ridden of my propensity to self-criticism. I think an awareness of one's limitations and failures are pretty necessary things for ongoing growth. I do wish, however, that I could shake off some of the ideas I hold that everything is my fault and that everyone is out to get me because of that.

Bah.... It's too late to process my psychological issues. I should go do something pious and then get some sleep.

And in the morning... eat a good, greasy, work-week-startin' Salisbury House breakfast.

5

2009-02-04T00:33:00.002-06:00

It's worth noting: Shayan is now 5!

That's right. That means she heads to school next year - and mom and dad aren't quite ready yet. But she's growing up, and we're proud of the little lady she's becoming: kind, creative, intelligent, and tender-hearted.

I love you, kid. Just slow down on the birthdays for me, eh?

Jots and Tittles

2009-01-23T22:31:00.005-06:00

I've been feeling the need to get some of the thoughts that are rollin' around in the ol' noggin out into the world somehow. Believe it or not, there's lots goin' on up there most days, and I think it would be good to write more of it down. Blogging is a start, but it's seeming to be not enough.

Maybe a book or two is in order....

There's something pretty special about putting pen to paper, or finger to keyboard, or whatever. Writing is an amazing thing to me. Concepts, ideas, all kinds of thoughts and feelings can be symbolized by funny looking little characters in series. And once they are written they have a permanence that thoughts and ideas can never have while they're still only rollin' around in the ole noggin.

It takes a certain amount of arrogance to think that what you've written deserves to be read, but it seems that it would take an even greater amount of apathy to never write anything at all.

Communion of the Saints

2009-01-15T18:01:00.002-06:00

Today was day #1 of a new class focussing on pneumatology (Holy Spirit) and ecclesiology (the Church). I'm eager to get it underway - I think the content will be exciting and formative. My understanding of the Spirit and His work in the Church is, realistically, pretty impoverished, as I would assume is actually the case with most contemporary evangelicals.

Now I just have to figure out how to get done the 2500 pages of reading* I have due before the end of April....

*Page total (approx.) for the two classes I'm taking this semester.

Non-Commission

2009-01-14T22:15:00.004-06:00

Of the multiple "hats" that I wear as a pastor in a local church, one of the more common ones "put on" in a given week is the "salesman hat." This is the "hat" that's "put on" when trying to encourage people to "buy in" to ideas, programs, etc. It's the "hat" that "goes on" when a newcomer drops by check out the community.

In the past this "hat" hasn't "fit me" very well. Not well at all, in fact. "Selling" church to people? Something - most things - seem wrong about that....

But I've come to realize in the past year or so that what has really urked me about all of this is "sales" stuff is that I was "hawking" a "product" that I didn't really believe in. When the "salesman" doesn't really believe in what he's selling, it's awkward, phony, and downright dishonest. And that has often been the case in the past.

These days the "hat" is fitting a little better. Or perhaps more to the point, I don't feel the need to wear the "hat" at all. I don't feel as though I'm "selling" anything.... When visitors drop in or call with questions about this church, I don't "pitch sales lines" - I gush about a community that I love, that my family loves, and that loves my family and me in return. It's not "peddling" a "product" anymore, it's more like showing off the pictures of the wife and kids that you keep in your wallet. It's not "selling," it's glorying in something good.

Alright. Time to give it a rest.* People get tired of seeing the baby pictures from the wallet.... But I do love this community. A lot.

* I shall also give the quotation marks a rest. Those poor little guys have been abused this post....

The More You Know

2009-01-09T00:37:00.002-06:00

Time is ticking on the Bush administration. In less than a couple weeks, he's gone. Most of those whom I rub shoulders with would say "good riddance."

BUT, let's take a minute to gratefully look upon Mr. Bush's long list of "successes." THIS DOCUMENT comes from the administration itself - "100 Things Americans May Not Know About the Bush Administration Record." A glowing review....

Wow.

Defensive.... The very fact that they perceive the need to publish this says more than anything.

What are the Odds?

2009-01-08T00:04:00.002-06:00

Know what's awkward? Dialing a wrong number.

Know what's more awkward? Dialing a wrong number but it so happens that the person on the other end has the same name as the person you were trying to get ahold of, so when you say "Hey, Chris how's it going?" the conversation doesn't come to an abrupt end but instead you go on jabbering to them as if they know you and what you are talking about.

Sorry, other Chris guy....

Telephone Tag

2009-01-06T14:03:00.001-06:00

What a dumb game. This isn't fun at all....

Midnight Oil

2009-01-03T23:31:00.002-06:00

It's a double-duty Sunday for me tomorrow at the ole FCC: preaching and leading the music. It's been done before - I'll be fine. I kind of like the opportunity to exercise my jack-of-all-tradeness from time to time.

I even attempted to bake the bread for the eucharist. It turned out... a little dark. Jack-of-all-trades? Jack-something anyway....

At 11:30PM, there's more to be done for tomorrow.

So off I go....

New Year Realism

2009-01-01T13:15:00.003-06:00

It's a new year, but so what? The turning of a calendar page - the dropping of a ball - does nothing to change who we are and how we live. The change of date is no kind of new beginning at all on its own.

The reality is that unless you do something different today, you will be the same person you were yesterday.

It's a new year, and while I'm not generally one for new year resolutions there is something to the idea of a commitment to real change. I'm not entirely contented with who/what I am - nor should you be, I'm sure. And so I'll go on, constantly re-evaluating my life through the grid of the Gospel, and, by God's grace, DO something to be different today than I was yesterday, something closer to the likeness of Jesus.

Chez Gavin's Top 10 of 2008

2008-12-31T12:29:00.003-06:00

As it's the last day of the year of 2008, I thought I would provide a recap of some of Chez Gavin's top posts of the year that was.*

#10. NKOTB (April 4th)
It's no surprise that the surprise comeback of the New Kids made a splash. The post even got a spam comment by some NKOTB fan club.

#9. Code Brown - Noxious Fumes (December 10th)
There are few things that make for a more exciting day in the church basement than a near chemical poisoning.

#8. Off-Putting (February 12th)
Dreams. Fears. Sex. Math. The recipe for a good post, evidently....

#7. An Open Letter to Short People (April 11th)
The story of the underdog has always connected with the human heart. But what about the story of the "overdog?"

#6. 27 (June 12th)
I say it again, Jim Morrison sucks.

#5. Why Hockey is Better than Soccer (January 5th)
Although I don't fall in line with the popular opinion the world over on this particular subject, I continue to be OK with that. I'm not a big fan of rice either and that seems to be kind of a big deal for about half the world's populous....

#4. Son of a... (March 15th)
This tale - one of an unwitting fool and a revenging snowman - has become folklore around these parts. Shayan has even illustrated the incident to commemorate it. This I know - people like to laugh at my misfortune.

#3. My Dad Just Doesn't Understand Me... (November 27th)
Sometimes it's good to just vent. Blogs can be good for that....

#2. Mother F***** (December 20th)
Again, people like to laugh at my misfortune.
This I also know - posts that have titles that allude to cuss words are occupying 20% of this list. Just an interesting factoid. Maybe it says something about you, the reader.... Just saying....

#1. The Morning After (October 15th)
Canadians love to talk politics and that was proven here following our last federal election. Aren't we a sophisticated bunch? I can only imagine what might have been had I posted my thoughts on the coalition and the resulting prorogued parliament....

*"Top 10" are determined by the very unreliable method of comment numbers. The authors' own comments were tallied in with these counts, as I am to lazy to go back and do any subtraction.

Another Christmas

2008-12-30T19:10:00.003-06:00

Highly anticipated yet again, Christmas was faithful to come this year, just like it did last year and has for many years before that. Jesus' birth - God's coming in the flesh for humanity - is a good gift that I am deeply grateful for.

Time with family was... good. Bumpy.... Rough here and there. I'll spare the details and focus on the good stuff. I love them, and they love me, and that is something else to be deeply grateful for.

Mother F*****

2008-12-20T00:38:00.002-06:00

After the festivities of a close friend's birthday party, I drove home in the snowy Winnipeg weather...

...and slid through a red light.

No one was hurt - it's a very quiet t-intersection. But, it just so happened that this quiet t-intersection had a red light camera installed at it. Mother f*****.

There goes $200. I'll have to take that out of the "Dumb Ass" category of my budget. I wonder if you can pay those things off in installments....